Sometimes I often wonder what made people choose St. Valentine for love...of course he did spread the message around for all the mush but then this particular day is special in its own way. If for nothing else you would love yourself..! But it quite magical..too hard to believe its true but for a true Piscean at heart thats how life is. Love is everywhere kinds. Even when we decide on renouncing on believing in this world of our own...we get back to it sooner than the thought of giving it up!
So how I wanted to spend the day.. well just as good as it was. To do something special for loved ones..spend some good time with friends and thats about it.
Wish it would end as that - well it did not. What happens when you are smiling that Radio Indigo is playing your favorite list on iPod and you are smiling at it (generously at that!)... a bus comes and hits your car. A complete transformation of thoughts...thudd you fall on your butt - cloud 9 to ground 0 - a journey that takes a few microseconds. You get down to take a look... ouch!!!! Its an excruciating heart-ache...an inexplicable one at that. All useless thoughts start crossing your mind - what was I thinking..why was I happy for no reason, why did this happen...is this a consequence of something or was I reprimanded of unintended (sometimes intentional) wrong-doings! None of it would or could ever console you or convince you - it happened cause it had to? - well I don't think so!
Having lost my happy self and moving into a sort of numbness (that is anything but comfortable) - I don't know how to get back to where I was. Somehow I know what would but then that is something more out of my control - it might just come or otherwise. Whatever it is...for now I repeatedly watch the last scene from Shall We Dance.."......., will you dance with me?", with Book Of Love playing in the background and travel into a different plane! Siighh... music and a voice that soothes your soul
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